To be or not to be
by jokerunderdog
Summary: AU Alex started using drugs after her breakup but realised her mistake after almost getting busted. She left Kubra and is working her way through life. Piper met Larry 3 years later and has been with him for the past 5 years. What if after 8 years the past stumbles their way?
1. Chapter 1

Piper was in her couch like every other Sunday morning going through her grading papers. Piper has been a lit professor in NYU for the past 4 years. She had a nice fancy house (finally her mother approved something of her), great (not at all backstabbing) friends and a loving and sweet (albeit a little boring) fiance. Life was good.

or so you'd think.

there was a reason she wasn't yet married to the 'love of her life'. a reason why after so many not so subtle hints from Larry and her mom, she was not ready to tie the knot. a reason why Polly still asked her about her commitment to the relationship to her fiance of 2 years. One very specific tall, controlling, deep green eyed reason with a voice, piper knew would still make her wet with one little whisper and leave goosebumps on one soft touch.

Its not like she'd ever admit it but those little flashback, which still left her breathing deeply, begged to differ.

Larry came over with the newspaper, reading his article like he hasn't already written and read it to me twice already. on finishing he turned over to me " so babe, whachya doin'?" without looking up I replied "grading'". apparently someone still doesn't get the message and continues "pipes, you promised to lessen your workload this semester so we can plan the wedding. its only been what 2 years now." sighing, I realized he wont leave it at that untill I reply something wedding related, I answered "And I'm doing just that. They're the papers I need to hand to the new professor joining in tomorrow to take over a few of my classes. we'll plan the wedding once i'm done, yeah?" kissing him on the cheek, I got up to go to the study before he brought up all the wedding plans.

I got done till evening and we went out to dinner to this fancy Italian Larry found the other day, talked about our work and friends and family and of course the wedding like always and got back.

I went to check up on Polly on our way back, she'd been super busy with Finn (my favorite, given only, Godson) and our company. Larry went home,luckily we lived only a block from each other.

I ringed the doorbell and was greeted by a tired looking Polly, "hey pipes, didn't expect to see you today." I got in we she moved and found Finn playing Pete in front of the TV, I immediately went to him, "just missing my little godson here, he looks so big." Pete stood up to greet me "you literally just saw him 2 days ago, piper." "yeah so I cant be kept apart from him long, call me next time you need a babysitter for your night long 'dinners' " I said with mirth and pete immediately backed off laughing, "I take it back". Polly came in with wine and said "make one of your own since you evidently love kids so much" and without thinking I replied "if only she'd agree." i realized what I just said and turned to check if Pete heard it or not but thankfully he was busy playing with Finn. Polly came up to me with a knowing experrion and said, " had another wedding talk today?" I nodded but didn't pry much. both feeling helpless for the umpteenth time in the past 2 years carried on talking about other things and it was my time to head home.

Larry was on his laptop working we got into the bedroom. we both worked for a while and kissed each other goodnight before turning the lights off, thinking about my day at work tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N ; SO, it was my very first story and shit. I just thought of the plot but couldn't find a related story. I'm gonna write at my pace since I'm not really the writer kind so, you might have wait a bit.

ALEX

Alex was in Starbucks with her Jane Eyre and blonde roast on this sunday morning. she was about to meet Nicky on one of her regular coffee runs since her house was just around the corner.

Nicky was about the only reminder of her past life to Alex. she was one of the regulars and when alex started using, lets say they were on the high ride together but coincidentally they together in the club getting high when the cops came in and they quite literally just dodged them.

on the same day began their real friendship and not some lousy junkie relationship. they were relying in each other, Nicky to not go back to her old habits and Alex cutting her ties off of Kubra which wasn't all that difficult because in the very raid, Kubra's one of the closest people got caught and testified against him which put him away for a long long time.

so when Alex got rid of her barely there addiction, she helped Nicky though hers and at same time, started taking literature classes at the community college while working in a nearby library which gave her fairly flexible shifts and time to do well in her classes.

She aced her classes and completed her college a year early and going straight to a masters in teaching. Nicky was fairly stable till then and her roommate in an apartment Nicky's mom happily paid for seeing Alex's great influence in her daughter.

turns out Nicky, in her early days was excellent cook. she went to a few classes and was now working at a fairly nice restaurant where she also happened to find herself a chic Italian beauty.

alex moved out after a couple of years when Nicky and Lorna decided to move in together since she had savings with her job as a high school teacher while working on her masters.

Nicky entered with her own little swag and tapped on Alex's shoulder and said in a deep voice " is this seat taken, miss?" Alex faked annoyance, "i have feeling , youre gonna sit in any case." nicky sat opposite alex saying, "damn straight i am." alex raised her oh so sexy eyebrow like she always did on comments involving nicky and straight , because , come on.

Nicky ignored the raised eyebrow continuing " so whats new with you?" ales closed her book before relying " I've got good news. that job at columbia i thought i'd never get, turns out i did get it despite my lack of experience in teaching. its not a full time thing, I'm taking over a few a the classes a professor lady there. at least I'll get away from those high school trolls."

Nicky hums in agreement and says "maybe you can score someone hot there, seeing as there'll more of your nerd kind."

Alex looked away thinking of another nerd she used to talk to about all her books and anything and everything. thinking how easy it was for her to abandon alex in her time of need.

sensing the change in demeanor nicky, takes Alex out and they walk to their homes with Alex sighing at how pathetic she must be to still miss her.

she carries on with her day preparing for her meeting with the next day with the professor she's taking over to catch up on her course.

AN ; I'm not entirely clear on my next chapters so, sugesstions are welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN; Agani, I'm all that familiar with writing and I have exams in like 2 months or so and that's equivalent to 2 day here in India. I haven't written the next chapter yet but I have ideas.**

PIPER

Piper got up her usual timing and got ready for her day at the university. She made breakfast for Larry and herself when she remembered how the tall woman used to snake her hands around Piper's waist, inhaling her lover deeply, in a way that made Piper love Alex even more. She sighed at the memory. This, for Piper, was normal now. Thinking of the 'what if's'. The old times. Not just the happy ones either, the fights and arguments as well. Rethinking her decision every day, Piper couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret at her steps in the past but decided what she did was for the best of her. What she did not regret was not looking for her ex- lover because she knew it wouldn't take much from the brunette to have Piper on her mercy again.

Piper wasn't in a hurry or anything but she had to bring her substitute professor up to speed so she left a little early than her usual time. She was curious as to who the person is that would be taking the few of her classes while she had to be home planning her beloved wedding. She put that thought out of her mind so as to not ruin her day.

On reaching the university, she was impressed on being informed the professor was already there. Piper respected dedication. They had adjoining offices so Piper headed in that direction.

When she reached the door to the new professor's office, a familiar scent and figure hit her senses and the blonde went blank. 'It couldn't be her. It couldn't be her'. She kept chanting. Though the brunette figure she was seeing could not be anyone else. The body, she remembers inch by inch. The hair, she used to lose her hands in. The scent, she lost herself into. Clad in grey pants and a white shirt, was the woman that haunted Piper every day since their break up, in all her glory, was ALEX VAUSE.

Piper did the one thing that came to her mind first. Run. She ran to her office as fast as she could with the tears brimming in her eyes, she slumped against the shut door and on the ground. 'No, it can't be her. What is she doing here? Here for me? No, after I left things with her, when she needed me the most. She's the substitute teacher's girlfriend? No no no no, there was nobody else in there. She just can't. Here to recruit? College students are gullible. Easy mules, but how did she land a job as a professor? By Kubra's help?' every reason piper thought of was more horrifying that the last. Piper composed herself and went to rest herself on her desk right when she was about to sit," Knock knock" on the door interrupted her.

Piper stopped in her tracks. It could only be her at this time. To ask about the class, perhaps. She debated on the idea of not responding but dismissed it soon since the door was locked and she couldn't be seen as a coward. She decided to get it over with since Alex was going to be working with her every day now. She went to the door straightening her. Reached the handle with shaking hands and turned it.

* * *

 **AN; Cliffhanger! _I've always wanted to do this to someone._**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN; Sorry to keep you waiting. I completely understand the power of a review now and I love everyone who did. I wasn't planning on writing more 'till my exams but I can't help it since you all (reviewers) asked so nicely. :P**

 **Oh and I have no fucking clue about how the universities and teaching works in American colleges aside from the little I know from my visit to some of the campuses 2 years ago, so pardon my rubbish about the executive stuff.**

 **Suggestions always welcomed.**

ALEX

Alex came in early her first day, naturally to get up to speed. She inquired about her office and theprofessor she was substituting for. She was handed a folder with the syllabus and directed towards heroffice. She was hoping on meeting her colleague before the class and expecting her to have a talk about the topics beforehand. She decided on reading the course file.

Alex was nervous while going through the document. She knew the work herself just little first day jitters. The lack of her substituted professor's presence was not helping her cause.

She didn't remember asking the professor's name yet. She turned to the first pages of the notes and there it was "PIPER CHAPMAN". 'Fuck' was the first thing that came to Alex's mind. The file fell on the desk with a little thud.

It all came rushing back to her. She felt a suffocated trapped behind her desk. Only one name could have that huge of an impact on the usually self assured and calm Alex Vause.

She resolved not to spoil her first day at her new job, so she decided to put it at the back of her head (even as little as possible) and started to busy herself with arranging her new and hopefully long term office.

Her breathing calmed after a while and she started to arrange her stuff in the shelves behind her desk. She was about done when an unmistakable scent hit her. The coconut and strawberry smell she used to surround herself with to forget everything else in the world.

Alex did not dare to turn around when she heard the almost inaudible hitch of breath. 'No, I'm not ready to see her yet. We're not ready to face each other. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.' With this, Alex ignored all her instincts to kiss the girl senseless against that door. She ignored the drop of her heart on hearing the door close behind her. She ignored the disappointment/anger she felt toward the other woman's actions, presents and pasts. 'I'm going to have to do it someday, I'm working with her. '

Alex tried to collect herself from the rainstorm that just passed her and opened the gates to her office with a mission in her head. With a deep calming breath, Alex went to the office adjoin hers.

She stood outside the door trying to come up with reasons not to do this. She was about to knock when she heard someone beside her clearing their throat. "Can I help you?" she asked a little annoyed. A little taken aback, the person shook his head, clearing his throat, he replied, "no, but do you plan on going in?" "I do, actually." Alex says haughtily when she noticed him holding food bags, "I didn't know we had food delivery service here." She said pointing at the bags. "Well, you do if your fiancé's that beautiful. Why am I telling you this, you probably have a 'deliver boy' of your own." Larry shrugged and laughed off Alex's previous comment, intimidated by her.

Just like that, all the courage Alex had collected drained, along with the color of her face. 'Fiancé' he had said. She didn't know how she was still standing but she was.

Oblivious to his comment's impact, Larry sensed the end of their conversation and knocked on the office door.

This brought Alex back to the earth and the situation dawned on her. 'I'm about to see her after 8 years with her fiancé beside me' before she could think, Alex was walking back to her office processing the information she just received.

On reaching the office Alex took her phone out and dialed. After receiving a hello from the other end, she said, "Find out all you can about Piper Chapman. You have until noon." With that, Alex left for her class.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN; Hey, I know I took super long to post this chapter, but I have exams going on and I'm here writing. Oh, also, I'm a sucker for cliffhangers so expect those in the future. : P**

 **P.S. I love all those who reviewed (and others who quietly read and left). :***

 **ALEX**

Alex fled the scene as soon as she could. She knew she could trust Nicky with the task, after all she knew firsthand how Piper Chapman affected her.

She collected herself, and then went to look through her topics for class today. Just as she finished, it was time for her lecture, so she headed to class. Her stomach was constantly in knots. She was sure it was no longer the jitters of her first lecture but the very thought of that sleazebag being in there with Piper.

Her first class seems to have gone well. The students seemed to like her and respond to her teaching style. This made her wonder how the blonde taught her all this time. She was obviously good at her job; Alex knew that just as introduced that she'd be taking "Ms Chapman's" class from now on. There was a slight discomfort almost the group but she made sure to make a good first impression.

Alex was expecting her friend to come through 'till it was lunch time and just as she predicted Nicky showed up at the university with food at lunch time.

"Yo Vause, I got what you asked for but you know the price." Nicky stated as she entered.

Alex knew Nicky was joking and that she'd be there whenever the brunette needed her and vice versa. "Yeah yeah, drinks on me tonight. Happy? "

"You know I am. So, what I found won't please you but I know you won't rest without knowing it all. She's been teaching here for 4 years got good reviews and shit from everyone. Her parents are still in Connecticut but visit more often now. Now on to the more important part, she has been engaged for $$$$ years to a Larry Bloom, allegedly a writer, who has been more or less unemployed since he got out of college. Has the Chapman kind of WASPy family in New York. Probably why the Chapmans visit more often, Oh and wedding's in &&&& months." Alex listened intently as Nicky was reciting it all. Her chest became increasingly heavy on hearing the engagement part. What the fuck kind of a name is that?'

Just as Nicky finished, Alex heard a knock on the door. There stood a beautiful blonde with an expectant look in her eyes.

"Hey, come in." Alex couldn't recognize her voice. She was not ready for this.

"Hey, I heard it was you who starting here today. I couldn't believe it so I came to see you myself. You look well, Al." Alex flinched a little at the nickname. Her heartbeat was racing. She was not ready for this. All her past came crashing back at once.

Nicky stood there awkwardly with her mouth hanging open as she looked between the two.

"Want me to get rid of her, Vause?" Nicky asked understandingly.

"No, I have to talk to her someday." Alex replied not taking her eyes off the blonde.

"Fine, I'll see you later." With that Nicky walked past the woman on the door to exit.

"Dianna" Alex whispered, not knowing where to start. "Alex" was the similar breathy response.

"Are you doing okay?" Dianna asked softly. Not wanting to offend the brunette.

"If you're asking in the drug department, then yeah. Still clean as ever. What about you?" Alex said coolly, regaining her composure. She knew Dianna was not asking accusingly. She's been with Alex throughout her problem.

"I'm also clean. And other than that? How have you been? "She asked suggestively. She knew Alex's ways but was also aware how non trusting Alex was.

Dianna was with Alex during her addiction. She was also an addict. She got over the drug after a family incident and left the city for good. During all of this she spent a lot of time Alex. She knew she was mourning for her mother in not at all a healthy way. After she got clean, she met with Alex in rehab a few times and found her more alluring by every meet. Alex was aware of the effect she and enjoyed the blonde's company. Dianna was funny, smart and also a book geek. They had common interests. She even might've perused her if the blonde hadn't left the city.

Alex smirked knowingly "I've been studying but as you know, but landed a job here somehow, as you can see."

"I know you're persistent. You'd not before get what you want. I would've taken me one look at you to hire you. Here's my number if you need anything." The blonde winked handing Alex a card and with that and turned around to leave. "Oh, my office is right around that corner. I'll text you the details of your welcome drinks later today. It's tradition. So, see you there, newb." She said over her shoulder and exited.

Alex went over her words and prepared her for meeting her other fellows suddenly very well aware of one other blonde's presence there as well. 'Atleast I know what's going on with her' Alex resigned to thinking of her plan of action for the rest of the day 'till it was her time to go.


End file.
